Disclaimer: JKR owns anything that is obviously hers. I own the rest. I do not make any money off this.
Characters: Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott, Others
Genres: Angst, Drama, Humour, Romance
Story Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Profanity, Smut
Overall Rating: NC-17
Summary: Hermione needs to get rid of her pesky virginity for her very own reasons. The solution to that is, of course, to make a list of the boys at Hogwarts to find out which one will suit her purpose best! Draco Malfoy is at first left off her list, but when he finds out and teases her about it, she realises that maybe he has a point--after all, who would be better to take her virginity than the most gossiped about skirt chaser at Hogwarts? He's not quite as willing as she thought he'd be, though. Written to fit a prompt.
Extra Note: Thank you to mazvn and cklls for the beta and dollfaced for the banner. :)
Chapter Length: 6,391
Feeling slightly more human after breakfast, Hermione went to the library. She didn’t really need to go, but it was her safe place. A place where she could be largely alone without ever feeling the same kind of loneliness she did in her room. She especially liked being in the back, surrounded by knowledge everywhere.
“She’s bad news.”
Hermione stopped at the sound of Pansy Parkinson’s voice, telling someone all the ways that some Muggle-born could ruin their life.
She had a fairly good idea who Pansy was talking about and who she was talking to. It was soon confirmed when she heard his voice.
Was this really how they saw her? As some big threat? Bigoted reasons aside, Pansy seemed genuinely concerned that she might become vindictive towards Malfoy. Come to think of it, Malfoy kept saying the same things.
The conversation seemed to be over and Hermione had to duck in between bookcases in order to avoid the rapid footsteps moving towards her.
Now what to do? Malfoy hadn’t agreed openly with Pansy, but maybe that was simply because he’d been annoyed with her. He’d certainly sounded that way. Hermione would never abuse her position the way it had been implied time and again that she would, but if Malfoy thought she would and that was the only reason he’d kissed her...
The kiss. He’d given every indication that he didn’t want to do it and didn’t want to continue it. Oh, she’d been so stupid. If the roles had been reversed, she would have hexed his bits off. The only thing keeping him from doing something similar must be fear of the repercussions.
Now she did feel some of the shame Draco had wanted her to feel earlier. She hadn’t taken his objections seriously at the time and had basically harassed him. She was also disappointed. How could she continue her pursuit like this? She couldn’t. She had to stop. She hadn’t meant to hurt anyone.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped out from between the stacks of books and walked towards where the steps had originated a few minutes ago.
“Malfoy?” she said when his back came into her vision a few seconds later.
He immediately stiffened and she flinched.
“Yeah?” he cautiously asked without turning.
“I’m... I’m sorry about last night,” she muttered. “I’d like to blame the alcohol, but we both know that wouldn’t be true.”
Now he did slowly turn. “You’re apologising? Why?”
“I didn’t mean to force you.”
“I don’t recall you holding me down.”
“There are other ways to force...”
“So you heard her, huh.” He didn’t seem overly surprised.
She flushed. She hadn’t meant to be eavesdropping, after all. “She didn’t say anything you’ve not already tried to say to me.”
“Except she vastly exaggerated.”
“Maybe an exaggeration was what I needed to hear.”
He turned back to his homework and wearily rubbed the spot between his eyes with two fingers. “Far be it from me to encourage you to continue to torment me, Granger, but you didn’t force me last night.”
Maybe it was a male pride thing? “All right. But I’ll take a hint and back off. When I ignore your wishes like that, it’s almost sexual assault.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “Almost?”
“Yes, almost. You’re fairly aggressive yourself, so unless you want to admit to assaulting half the female population around here...”
“Almost it is, then!”
“I thought so.”
“So... you’re really going to stop?” Draco asked when Granger didn’t seem inclined to continue talking.
“I’ll even wear trousers.”
He pondered that for a bit. He should be relieved, but he kind of liked looking at her legs. True, it left him far too frustrated to be comfortable, but those were nice legs. “Good,” he said without conviction.
“And I’ll remember to wear a bra every day.”
“I... don’t think I noticed if you didn’t.” Which was odd. He usually noticed if someone’s breasts bounced like that. He couldn’t see how he could’ve missed it.
“Oh, that mostly happens in the summer. It gets so hot.”
“Uh-huh.” He shifted his legs a bit so she wouldn’t see how she was beginning to affect him again. He suddenly missed summertime.
“And I won’t try to show off that new set of black lace underwear I got with garters and—”
“No need to be so specific!”
She grinned impishly. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”
He could picture it a bit too vividly. How could the Head Girl fool everyone into thinking she was the epitome of virtue when she was really so, so naughty? “You can wear anything you like,” he finally said.
“Of course I can, but—”
“I’m not saying you should keep wearing skimpy clothes. I’m saying, wear whatever comes natural to you. It’s not like I’m allergic to your legs and will perish if you wear a skirt even once.”
“But that’s the thing, Malfoy. Around you, I’m going to want to show off skin to seduce you.”
“Why? Why me?” He really didn’t understand this. Why must she torment him so?
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I find you sexy.”
“What?” He stared. His heart had begun pounding and he felt some of that blood flood into his cheeks. Damn it! Damn her! He’d thought he’d learned to master these blushes!
“Why so surprised?”
“You’re taking the piss, aren’t you?”
“No, Draco, I’m really not. You’re like the ultimate fantasy. The experienced Bad Boy, who’ll love you and leave you, thus introducing no reality into the mix.”
He groaned aloud. Just with words, she had once again managed to get him going, but there was one word in her last statement that made it all impossible, even if other circumstances had made it possible. One word. His constant curse.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, cocking her head.
“I can’t do it. I can’t sleep with you.”
“I know. That’s why I said I’d stop.”
But he didn’t want her to!
The realisation left him a little disoriented. If he didn’t want her to stop, then why... had he wanted her to stop? He knew he couldn’t sleep with her and being around her made him frustrated like nothing else could.
He supposed it could be an ego thing. It was nice to have a girl call him sexy and try to seduce him, even if it frustrated him to no end. It certainly didn’t hurt that he really wanted her body and had dozens of fantasies about what he’d like to do with it. Fantasies he couldn’t seem to squash.
“Last night...” he hesitantly began.
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“No. Last night... you said something.”
“That we could just do what I wanted to do and nothing more.”
“Yes? What about that?”
“Are you...” He hesitated, unsure whether he was opening himself up to a world of trouble. “Are you still up to that?”
Hermione’s eyes widened and she swallowed? Had he asked what she thought he’d asked? The tingle in her entire body suggested yes. “Why?” she croaked and then cleared her throat. “I mean... is this merely you trying to be in charge?”
“No sex, Hermione. No exclusive relationship. And if I tell you not to touch me in a certain way or not sit next to me in class, you will do that—although if you should feel like helping me with a few assignments in private, I certainly wouldn’t turn that down.”
“That doesn’t accomplish my goal of losing my virginity.”
“No... Not technically. But I have a feeling it’s better that way. Besides, I said this isn’t exclusive. You’re free to lose it to someone else on the side. This thing... is only if you tell the truth and you actually want to.”
She was tempted. Really tempted. But she didn’t cherish the idea of letting Draco call the shots. Still... she could get some of what she wanted for a relatively small price. And she could always end it if he was too controlling. “Fine,” she finally said. “But only if you agree to a few terms of my own.”
“Like I have a say in when and where. And you don’t cancel our meetings to be with other girls at those times. Schedule around it.”
“Girls really don’t like to come second, do they? I, for one, won’t care if you cancel to be with another bloke.”
“Good to know.”
“No sex. I mean it.”
She pursed her lips and nodded. One of these days she really had to get him to give her a straight answer about why he was so insistent on not having sex. For now, however, she was pleased at the prospect of at least not being completely rejected.
Hermione wrinkled her nose and looked around at the old dilapidated office. It didn’t look like it had been used for years or cleaned for months.
“I have a private room, you know,” she said. “And it’s outside the tower. Anyone I invite can enter.”
“I know. We aren’t going to your room,” Draco said, closing the door behind them.
“Because your room has a bed, and I’m not quite certain you understand what no sex means yet.”
She had no intention of ever understanding that. She’d been prepared to drop her pursuit, but the very fact that he’d wanted to keep her going like this definitely turned his 'no' into a 'maybe'. And everyone knew what 'maybe' meant.
“I understand what it means,” was, however, what she said.
“The words, possibly, but you’re one stubborn witch.”
She ignored his statement and moved towards the old, beaten sofa. “We sit on this?” She brought her hand down on the backrest and a pile of dust rose. She wrinkled her nose. Oh, how lovely. This wasn’t seedy at all. She wasn’t even going to think about what the stains on that sofa were from—or who.
“No. I don’t think you can handle that yet either.”
She raised an eyebrow and turned back towards him. “I can’t handle it?”
”Anywhere we can lie down is off-limits today.”
She snorted. “Then I suppose the floor is too?”
“Lying on it is, yes. Come here.”
She glanced at him. There was something about the way he looked at her whilst beckoning her to come closer. It was thrilling and a little bit scary. “You really like telling me what to do, don’t you?”
“Every second of it, yes.”
“So, are you saying you’d consider—”
“You didn’t even let me finish!”
“I know what you were going to ask, and the answer is still no. It’s not your submission or lack thereof that’s the deal-breaker.”
“But there is one?” she had to ask.
She mulled that over for a second. “Do me a favour.”
“If the deal-breaker has anything at all to do with your bigotry, never tell me. Think of a pretty and believable lie.”
He slowly shook his head without even breaking eye contact for a second. “It doesn’t.”
“Yes, that’s a start.”
He shot her an exasperated glance. “Did you come here to talk or to snog?”
He was right. She was procrastinating. Mentally grabbing a firm hold of her own neck and guiding herself towards him, she gave him a wicked smile.
He pursed his lips in what looked like wry amusement. “For a second there, I thought you were going to act like a normal girl.”
“And how’s that?” she asked, sliding her hands around his neck to link them behind his head, refusing to feel awkward about it.
“Hesitant. Shy. Embarrassed.” He looked down at her. “But you don’t actually know any of those feelings, do you?”
“Life’s too short to feel embarrassed about wanting something.” She unlinked her hands and let them skim down his collarbones to his chest and was about to start some fun exploration, when he grabbed them and held them away from his body.
“No touching,” he said.
She blinked. “No touching at all?”
He shook his head. “Only kissing, no touching.”
“That sounds boring.”
“Only if you do it wrong. Now shut up.”
Then he grabbed her neck and kissed her.
Apparently, it wasn’t only tipsy kissing that could get her blood boiling. His lips were warm and his breath was hot, but why it would light a bonfire in her, she wasn’t certain. Maybe it was this thing called chemistry. She’d never even considered that she might have it with Draco Malfoy, but in a way it made sense. He was everything that was wrong and off-limits.
He broke the kiss. “What’s wrong? I thought this was what you wanted.”
It was. “Don’t you feel it?” she asked.
“I don’t know what to call it. The... explosions.”
“Explosions? Have you lost it?” He shook his head as if to dismiss the notion, but his eyes were burning in the same way her body was.
“When we kiss... It’s intense.”
“Doesn’t mean anything.”
Was he afraid she might want it to mean something else? Now it was her turn to shake her head and pull his head down for another kiss. She seemed to take him by surprise, because he stumbled a little before catching himself and his lips was slightly parted. He’d kissed her quite skilfully last time at the library—soft and hard, nipping, caressing, and slightly sucking on her lips—but he hadn’t used his tongue or allowed hers to enter his mouth. Not for a second.
She wanted that so badly. She hoped he wasn’t the kind of person who simply didn’t enjoy that kind of kissing because it would kill her.
Quickly, before he could get his bearing back, she allowed the tip of her tongue to shoot out and caress the inside of his lip, afraid to go further in case he decided to use his teeth on her.
She couldn’t decide whether that was a good thing, so she tried making another quick sweep, barely grazing the tip of his tongue. The contact sent a jolt of pure, raw sexual energy through her.
He broke away. “No...”
The disappointment was unwelcome but unsurprising. “You don’t like it?”
“It’s got nothing to do with like. Things with you tend to get a bit out of hand.”
That could win the Most Confusing Answer of the Year Award. “What kind of reply is that?”
“Don’t you think I know that you see this as yet another opportunity to try to seduce me?”
He’d have to be daft not to know that. She didn’t think he was daft. Bigoted, yes; daft, no. “You invited me here to snog, Draco. I thought that meant actual snogging.”
“I can’t kiss you like that when I can’t be certain that you’ll stop.”
“So you do like it?”
“I told you—that’s not really the issue here.”
She smiled, fairly certain she’d figured him out now. “Sounds to me like it is. Sounds to me like you’re saying that you like it so much that you’re afraid I’ll manage to get you into bed before you know what hit you.”
He looked away and she knew she was right. “I’m sorry, Granger. I don’t trust you.”
She merely shrugged at that. “I don’t blame you. I can’t be trusted. But I promise you that I won’t try to make you do anything if you’re in a state of mind where you’ll regret it later.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“I won’t push for sex when you’re in a state where you can’t clearly say yes or no.”
“And who defines that state?”
“What?” He eyed her warily, making her smile.
“I already told you that your pupils dilate, but they also get slightly glazed when we kiss and you... enjoy it.” She loved it when he got that look in his eyes. It almost made all his silly objections worth it.
“You already know that, do you? After two kisses?”
“Yet you don’t seem to notice it when I tell you no.”
She grinned. “I do. But your eyes say yes, so...”
He made an exasperated sound. “Do you have a handbook full of pick-up clichés or something?”
“Yes, I do. It’s called What Men have told Women for Centuries to get into their Knickers.”
He actually snorted a laugh at that. “You have an answer for everything, don’t you?”
“Except one thing.”
“Why are we here? And why are you so opposed to sex with me?”
“That’s two things.”
He was really never going to answer her questions, was he? “Smart mouth.” She pouted at him.
“You like my smart mouth.”
“I do. I only wish you’d put it to better use.”
“I’ll kiss you, Granger. And I’ll even allow some tongue if you behave. But push too hard and we stop. For good.”
She nodded. She could live with that.
Then his lips were on hers again, moving to spread her lips apart so his tongue could explore. He was being aggressive, probably testing boundaries, but by now he should know that she didn’t have that many of them. She tried to run her hands down his chest again, but he caught them and entwined their fingers, holding her hands out to each side. When she struggled to free herself, he pushed her back until he held their hands against the wall before he broke the kiss and smirked at her.
“I said no touching, Granger.”
“You’re such a pain.”
“As are you.”
Apparently, he wasn’t interested in any more debate, because he cut her off with another kiss, and somehow struggling to free her hands didn’t really seem that important. Of course, touching him would be nice, but the way he was crowding her against the wall, holding her hands in place, felt oddly exciting. Also, she could almost feel his body against hers. She arched into him, but was promptly punished by him pulling back.
“No,” he simply said.
“Pout all you want, Hermione. If you ever want more than this from me, you’ll have to learn to behave.”
She immediately perked up. “More? As in—”
“No. As in snogging on your bed and touching.”
Oh, well. That could work too. Besides, once touching on her bed, maybe more opportunities would open. “I’ll behave.”
“Somehow I doubt that.” He didn’t seem angry, though. If anything, he almost looked amused.
She bit her lip. She liked it when he looked amused like this. He wasn’t sneering or scoffing, but merely fighting a smile. It made him look... edible. Okay, maybe that was an odd choice of words, but right now Hermione could only think about devouring him. “You do like it when I’m a little naughty, though, don’t you?” she purred.
“I’ve never seen you be a little naughty. I thought you were a good girl, and then all of a sudden you’re this... I don’t even know.”
“I got bored with being good. Good girls only get to sit around and wait for the world to throw them a bone. I’d rather be out collecting my own bones.”
“That’s a subtle euphemism if ever I heard one.”
She couldn’t help the laugh. “Well, I do want that, but snogging will do for a bit.”
He shook his head at her. “Then do shut up, it’s really hard to kiss you when you keep talking.”
So she shut up, and didn’t talk for quite a while.
Not talking could be so much more fun than she’d ever thought.
It was very, very late by the time Draco made it back to his common room. He’d had to go out in one of the courtyards to cool down after that whole snogging session and was still debating the need for a cold shower.
She’d behaved remarkably well after the initial rebellion, but as much as he’d thought he wanted her to stop talking, he’d quickly realised that nothing but snogging made for quite the hellish arousal.
He hardly knew why he’d agreed to this. It was insane. He was so frustrated he could scream, he hadn’t finished most of his homework, his lips were chapped, and he was fairly certain that he’d only encouraged Granger to push harder for sex.
Was it really worth it just to be wanted?
To be wanted like that was really quite something, though. Pansy had wanted him once, and sometimes he did come across some girls that wanted him now, but they all had inhibitions, fears about what he or the world might think of them, ideas about saving their kisses and touches for someone who’d prove themselves worthy. Granger, on the other hand, didn’t seem to give a flying fig about any of those things. She saw something she wanted and went for it. She was determined—and bossy as hell—about it and didn’t take 'no' for an answer.
Her aggression turned him on. It also put him off because it went against everything he’d been taught to value in a girl, but mostly it turned him on in a very confusing kind of way, where he never seemed to know quite what was going on.
“Look who the cat dragged in,” someone drawled the second Draco entered the common room.
Draco suppressed a groan. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing my ex right now, Theo?”
“I would,” Theo calmly replied, “but for some reason the Headmistress didn’t find ‘I need to do my girlfriend’ a valid reason to remove the anti-wizard charm on the girls’ dormitories.”
Draco noticed they weren’t alone. Goyle was sitting in an armchair, staring at both of them with his mouth semi-open and Blaise Zabini was pursing his lips, probably thinking his own thing about this exchange. Oh, brilliant. He couldn’t stand any of them. Once again he cursed the Ministry for forcing anyone from their year who wasn’t a hero in the war to redo their seventh year if they wanted the credentials. He didn’t want to be here, but so long as he was here, he’d rather they weren’t here.
Besides, not that Draco cared, but he felt a flare of annoyance that he’d come off as jealous in front of all of them when he was merely annoyed at Theo’s greeting.
“It was your turn, Goyle,” Zabini said, quickly dismissing Draco.
Goyle shook his head.
“What?” Zabini scoffed. “You aren’t still a virgin, are you?”
Goyle blushed but adamantly shook his head again.
Draco raised an eyebrow. “What’s this about, then?”
Theo made a long-suffering sigh. “Blaise here decided we all had to tell him about our first time in detail. When none would comply, he gave us a rather graphic description of his own first time, and now he seems to be badgering Goyle.”
“Ah.” Draco sat down. Dislike notwithstanding, he’d like to see this.
“What about you then, Malfoy?” Zabini said. “You should have a good story.”
“Me? No comment.”
Zabini snorted. “Please. You know you want to tell.”
Draco narrowed his eyes and then smirked. Maybe he could get a little bit back at Theo. “Well, obviously it was with Pansy.”
“Obviously,” Zabini nodded. “What else?”
Draco was disappointed to see that Theo had no reaction whatsoever. “What else is there?”
“Was there blood? Did she like it? Did you last seconds or perhaps even minutes? Were you so nervous you couldn’t get going?” Apparently Zabini had given this far too much thought.
“Seconds?” Draco asked. “Please tell me that’s not the typical length of first times.”
“I didn’t even make it in,” Zabini said.
“I certainly didn’t last long,” Theo remarked.
“I did,” Goyle stammered. “I couldn’t... finish.”
Draco stared and then blinked rapidly a few times when his eyes began to feel dry. “I, er, guess I averaged?” He frowned. He was coming off rather vaguely here.
“How about her?” Zabini pushed.
“What about her?”
“Did she enjoy it?”
Theo snorted. “When Pansy enjoys it, you don’t have to guess,” he said.
Zabini laughed out loud at that.
“Aren’t we being a little crude here?” Draco objected, feeling uncomfortable. “I don’t like to kiss and tell.”
Zabini rolled his eyes and got up. “None of you are any fun. None of you! I’m going to bed.”
Goyle quickly disappeared after him. Apparently the dunce had found a new ‘master’.
Theo, on the other hand, merely sat there and pursed his lips whilst watching Draco.
“What?” Draco finally irritably asked.
“I was merely thinking about what a special girl Pansy is.”
“Well, duh. Aren’t you going out with her?”
“Yes, that too, but I was thinking about something else.”
“About the fact that I took Pansy’s virginity and know for a fact that she didn’t sleep with you after that, so she must have had two virginities. Imagine that.”
Draco shrugged, not caring enough about his story to keep it up. “So I lied. I wasn’t going to give Zabini any real information to spread around.”
“You could’ve named any girl, yet you chose one you hadn’t slept with.”
“I was trying to mess with you and obviously failed.”
“I suppose that could be it. It could also be that a certain lie is now so pervasive that you can’t tell the truth any longer. To anyone. That’s going to become a problem for you.”
“Zabini is hardly the person to tell any kind of intimate truth under any circumstances. He’ll twist it around and find a way to use it against you, you know that as well as I do.”
“And what’s the worst that can happen from that?”
“What do you care?”
“I don’t. Not at all. But Pansy always worries about you, so I figure that if I can help fix you, you can soon be out of our lives.”
“Stop lying, Draco. Use the truth to your advantage instead. It’s much simpler,” Theo said as he got up from his chair, and then he left as well.
Yeah, right. Like the truth had any kind of advantages.
Hermione did her very best to follow Draco’s rules. She really did. She didn’t sit next to him in class, she gave him stellar performance reviews for his help in the library, and she didn’t let him know exactly how restless she was to have another rendezvous with him.
She even slipped him a note, inviting him to come study at her room one afternoon with the promise that she wouldn’t try anything.
He politely declined her invitation and generally left her hanging for several days before finally asking her to come to that disgusting old office again.
She considered declining just to spite him, but then decided against it. She wanted this more than he did, so she couldn’t jeopardise her chances. Unfortunately.
So off she went. He wasn’t there yet, so she stood for a few minutes, staring at the old sofa, wondering if anyone would mind if she accidentally burned it, when he finally arrived.
“Oh, you’re already here,” he said.
“I happen to always be on time,” she absent-mindedly replied. “You’re late.”
“Sorry. Had things to do.”
“I don’t doubt it.” She bit her tongue, realising how surly she was sounding. It was counter-productive. Instead she forced a smile. “But you’re here now. So, what’s on your agenda for the evening?”
He gave her a long look before slowly smiling. “You’re pissed off.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Of course not!”
“Why are you denying it?”
Because the second she showed herself as a human being, she knew he’d be out of there. She wasn’t through with him yet. “Because I don’t want to fight, Malfoy! I want to snog.”
“I bet I know why you won’t admit it. It’s because you think I’ll get sick of you and then cancel these meetings.”
She shrugged. “You would.”
“Then why are we having this conversation?”
“Because I've now decided that I refuse to go any further until you tell me exactly why you’ll go to such lengths to keep me happy merely so I won’t cancel these meetings.” He folded his arms and leaned one shoulder against the wall, smirking at her.
“Oh, give me a break!”
His smirk widened. “I didn’t figure you’d be the kind to fancy me, Granger.”
What? “I don’t fancy you.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“This plan of yours won’t work.”
“What won’t work? I figured it out!”
Her lips tightened and she glared at him. He was very clearly trying to goad the truth out of her by spewing unthinkable theories, but she wasn’t going to give in that easily.
“But,” he continued, “much as I’m flattered, I have to tell you that I’m not that interested. Don’t get me wrong, you do have a really nice body, but I need more in a witch.”
Her eyes narrowed.
He ignored it and gleefully went on. “And I’m not just talking about the blood status either. I need someone with a bit more... finesse.”
“Finesse,” she echoed, doing her very best not to strike him.
“Yes. I mean, you do have a lot of enthusiasm, I’ll grant you that, but—”
“Oh, for crying out loud!” she sputtered. “I’m only doing this because you’re the Hogwarts broom!”
“You know. Everyone’s had a ride.”
“Everyone’s...” His eyes widened and then narrowed, making him look almost ominous. “I see.”
“Good! Is this conversation over, then?”
“No. I still don’t know why you'd care to go after the, ah, 'Hogwarts broom'.”
“It doesn’t really get much more personal than losing your virginity to someone, does it?”
He had a point there. She grunted. “It’s complicated.”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“I bet I wouldn’t,” he conceded. “But try me.”
“It’s stupid,” she admitted. It was stupid, she knew it was stupid, she knew everyone else would find it stupid, yet she still had to do it!
“If you think it’s stupid, then why are you doing it?”
“Because I have to.”
“That’s a brilliant reason to lose your virginity to someone you hate if ever I heard one.”
That made her pause and she frowned. “Hate? Why would I hate you?”
“Oh, let me count the reasons... Isn’t that simply what we do? Hate on each other.”
She shot him a confused look. Did he hate her? He wasn’t always exactly friendly, but she hadn’t detected any real venom in him lately. If he did hate her, she might actually have to reconsider her whole plan. “Maybe you do. I don’t.”
“Right. That’s why I wasn’t on your list to begin with.”
His preoccupation with not being on that list honestly spoke volumes of this supposed hate of his.
“No, that was the reason,” she replied. “But then I got to thinking. Most of the things you’ve done that really made me dislike you were done when we were very young. I couldn’t hold any of that against you any longer.”
“The war wasn’t that many months ago, Granger.”
“No, but the Wizengamot decided that you deserved another chance in society and sent you here, so who am I to refuse you that second chance by continuing to judge you?”
“It’s really that easy, huh?”
“You keep asking that.”
“And you keep not answering.”
So he’d noticed that, huh? She really didn’t want to answer. “Does it actually matter? Are you going to feel guilty if you sleep with me and then realise I did it for all the wrong reasons?”
“I won’t sleep with you.”
“Then why do you need to know?”
“Because it has to be good for you to want so badly to keep it from me.”
She sighed in defeat. She had to give him something. “I need to do it to have a chance of getting back with Ron, okay?”
He looked at her for what seemed like a very long time. “So, what I’m hearing here is that the ugliest of the Weasleys—and that’s saying something—got himself a girlfriend both too clever and too pretty for him yet squandered his luck away by cheating on her, and she—and by ‘she’ I mean ‘you’ by the way—decides to make the least clever retaliation I can think of and do a good old-fashioned quid pro quo.”
“You don’t know everything, Malfoy.”
“No, but suddenly I know enough. Sleeping with someone else won’t make you feel better. It won’t undo what he did if you hurt him. You’ll probably even blame him for ‘making’ you do it and then you’ll resent him even more.”
How petty did he think she was? “I’m not doing any of this to get back at him! I’m doing it so virginity won’t be an issue.”
“If neither of us are virgins any longer, I can ignore that we ever had a virginity to give. Snogging you is nice, but it’s also a way to feel like I’m at least moving towards that goal. And I think I am. I’m learning a few things about boys.”
He stared at her, slack-jawed. “That’s your fix for betrayal? Ignoring there was anything to betray in the first place?”
“No offence, Malfoy, but you’re not exactly the person I’d look to for relationship advice.”
“After this, let me tell you, the feeling is mutual. I had no idea how messed up you were.”
She looked away. She had a fairly good idea that he still didn’t have any idea exactly how messed up she was. “There, I told you what you wanted to know. Are we going to snog, or are you suddenly having a case of morality?”
“Oh, no morals here. In fact, if what you’re saying is true, we should snog more.”
“Really?” She screwed up her face. “Talk about messed up."
“You have no idea...” He pulled her closer. “Maybe we should take it a little further today, since you eventually came around.”
“And how far would that be?”
“Sitting. Touching, but not in the key areas and only outside the clothes.”
“You’re so boring.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Do you have any idea how much I was dying last time?” she whinged.
“Not really. But do tell me all about it.” He drew her towards the sofa.
She decided she might as well elaborate since he was inviting it. “You refused to touch me, and all I wanted was to be touched anywhere.”
“So did you find someone who’d do it?” He sat down and pulled her down next to him.
She frowned. Exactly how much on the prowl did he think she was? “No... I went back to my room... alone...”
“Poor little girl...” he teased.
“And then I took off all my clothes...”
He raised an eyebrow. “All of them?”
“I like to be naked when I please myself.”
He looked like he was going to object to the turn this conversation was taking, but then he frowned in thought. “Isn’t that kind of inconvenient?”
“Isn’t ejaculating kind of inconvenient?” she countered.
He gave her a gentle push so she sat down and then sat down next to her, saying, “That’s why I like to do it in the shower.”
“Do it? Please yourself or be pleased?” And how did he like to be pleased in the shower? All kinds of images flashed through Hermione's head and she wasn't opposed to a single one of them.
“I suppose both would work, but I was referring to being alone.”
“So, we both like to do it naked...”
“I actually prefer being on a bed, but you’re right that it’s a mess and there’s no real privacy around these parts.”
“My room is private,” she coaxed.
“I’m not going to come in your room, Hermione.”
“I like the way you say my name.”
He snorted a laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever met another girl who needed to get laid as badly as you do.”
“And yet you won’t do it.” She pouted. It really wasn't fair. They had so much chemistry between them, yet he refused to take advantage of it.
“I’ll snog you senseless if that counts.”
“I guess it’ll have to,” she said, still pouting. Why was he so damn insistent that they couldn’t have sex? She could easily tell that he enjoyed the idea of her tossing off naked in her room, so why not act on it?